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September 01, 2014

Tales from the condo zone – It’s a beautiful day

Jim Zang

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Once upon a time, on a beautiful hot summer day many years ago, I sat in my condo and didn’t know what to do.

So I said to myself, “Self,” I said, “I feel like I should be doing SOMETHING”.

It’s a great day to go golfing; I could call a buddy or try to get on as a single. Or maybe even just go to the range and hit some balls.

I could go rollerblading in Fish Creek Park. Cruising along the paved pathways, beneath the towering cottonwoods, escaping the city, exercising my heart and getting a tan at the same time.

I guess I could go down to the club and get in a workout, or a game of raquetball or tennis. Hmm. On second thought, I feel energetic, but not THAT energetic.

I could go get groceries, but I’m pretty sure there’s still at least one pack of Kraft Dinner in the cupboard and beer in the fridge, so why bother?

I haven’t been fishing in a while, and haven’t actually caught anything the last half dozen times I’ve tried. So, maybe not. But I do have all the gear, and I could go, if I wanted to.

I’ve got a dinghy, too, and I could go rafting. Although, admittedly, my idea of white water rafting is riding Splash Mountain at Disneyland.

I could just hop in my car, a 1977 Firebird, and drive. Maybe west, toward the mountains. Maybe just downtown. Windows open, stereo cranked, eight track blasting out Supertramp’s Crime of the Century. It’s just too nice a day to sit around doing nothing.

I could finally sit down and write that freelance story that’s due but, um, uh, no, I don’t really feel like working. Pick something else.

I could go to the library, or the museum, or something cultured like that, I thought. Ya, right!

Okay, but I could get out and watch some soccer or baseball or something, even if it’s just kids at a local field. I know I’m a little older, but once they saw me play I’m sure they’d let me join.

I still couldn’t decide. And then it hit me. I didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want to. By doing nothing, I was doing something: I was condo-ing. I had, in fact, invented, or at least labeled, a new verb. It means “to live the carefree do what you want when you want lifestyle”.

So, on that beautiful day, I didn’t mow the lawn. I didn’t prune trees or wash windows either. I didn’t have to build a deck, paint a fence or clean out the eavestroughs.

Nope, not me, I just sat there all day. Because I lived in a condo and, after all, I did invent a new verb.

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